Trying on shoes is both a blessing and a curse. There’s the promise of new shoes(!), but the process to find one that fits (and doesn’t pinch or inflict injury) can be painful. Ellen DeGeneres, for one, understands the struggle. In “Ellen: Relatable,” her first stand-up special in 15 years, which is now available to stream on Netflix, the comic regales us with the trials and tribulations of her shoe-wearing ways.
“I do have an injury that’s kind of a problem for working out right now — I was having pain in my third or fourth toe,” she begins. “I went to see a podiatrist, and he said, ‘You have neuroma … it’s an inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. Do you wear soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes?’ I said, ‘Yes, that’s what I wear.’ He goes: ”That’s the wrong kind of shoes for you. The best shoe for you is a cowboy boot.'”
Laughs ensue, because it’s clearly evident that cowboy boots aren’t in line with DeGeneres’ style — who is seen wearing a dark sweater, dark pants and white sneakers — despite the fact that the Western style is one of the season’s biggest footwear trends.
“So I had to go buy new shoes with harder soles, and I realized, when we try on shoes, we do things we’re never going to do in them,” she continues. She then proceeds to perform a series of theatrical antics: mini squats, shuffles, toe-to-heel motions and a range of fancy footwork like the moon walk.
“When we try on shoes, there’s a tiny mirror on the ground for the shoes to see themselves, ‘cause you can’t,” she goes on. “Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. You say, ‘I’d like to try those on a size 6,’ and they come out with boxes: ‘We didn’t have a six but we have a 9 1/2.”
Relatable? Incredibly so.
Click through to view Ellen DeGeneres’ best shoe moments.
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