People Are Giving Personalities to Shoes — And They’re Hilarious

Clever netizens have not only given shoes personalities, they also have given them names, backstories, ages and quirks — all by inventing characters who they imagine would own the footwear. The irreverence is not lost.

Many of the imagined personas and the shoes they represent have been shared on Snapchat and compiled on Imgur’s Facebook page, where social media users have been “LOL” and adding commentary. It’s been shared more than 65,000 times and liked by more than 31,000 people since Wednesday.

Among some of the gems, meet Brendon, 33. He wears a low-top sporty Nike sneaker. He’s an “ex-Marine, runs 5 miles before breakfast, still wears it high and tight. Drinks his coffee black; has a firm handshake.”

There’s also a Dockers boat shoe named Cameron, 21, who’s described as “frat, but chill, long hair hooks up his dudes with that dank. Has a trust fund and a boat but doesn’t talk about it. Likes baggy shirts, low key addicted to xans.”

A gray Ugg boot has been reimagined as Kristynne, 19. She’s “skinny and lethargic. Likes boy bands and tacos. Tried whisky once, threw up. Calls her father daddy.”

Speaking to Footwear News in a previous interview, Kathy Kelada, a life coach and former personal shopper, shared that she dispenses wisdom to her clients by relating lifestyle and personality traits to shoes. In Kelada’s coffee table book “Be the Shoe” (available on betheshoes.com), she breaks down 14 personality types, each matched to a different shoe silhouette, and she reveals how someone can make significant life changes by changing shoes. Think of it as the zodiac of footwear.

“If you have been living in a running shoe because that is what your life has required of you — taking care of others, running from thing to thing — it is your shoe in life, but may not be who you want to be,” Kelada explained. “Try on a wedge or flip-flop and see what life is like in that shoe.”

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